My work as an advocate for survivors of sexual abuse, and now people struggling with mental health challenges, began when I met Dawn Helmrich at a United Way conference in 2016. She was speaking on a panel and mentioned in passing that she was a survivor of sexual assault. When I introduced myself, I didn’t share my own story of being abused by a neighbor when I was seven years old right away, but I knew instinctively that she was someone I could trust.
In the years since, I helped amplify Denim Day, an annual event to raise awareness for survivors; I shared my story publicly on Sree’s Sunday #NYTReadalong (I’m the Executive Producer and Guest Host); I wrote a blog post for United Way and spoke on a panel organized by the Milwaukee Commission on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, chaired by Samantha Collier, for male survivors of sexual abuse in April 2022. I had no idea what would come next.
If that’s where things had ended, that would have been ok. I had supported others in their advocacy work, shared my story and raised awareness using the platforms and channels I had access to.
I will discuss my evolution as an advocate for survivors of sexual assault and people dealing with mental health challenges on a new show that I launched with Dawn Helmrich, “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health.” Samantha Collier, an advocate for survivors, will be our guest. You can watch the recording on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram and my website.
Then, Candace Sanchez reached out. (She was the guest on the third episode of “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health.”) Candace responded to a Call to Action that I shared at the end of the panel for male survivors.
I asked the women in the audience to make space for men, explaining that men needed a little help. That it was hard enough to find our voice, but that with support and encouragement, we might be able to do it.
Candace did just that. She asked me to share my story as a guest on Season 3 of her podcast, “Unspoken: Conversations with Candace.” She was dedicating the entire season to male survivors of sexual abuse, featuring their stories, at my behest. I turned around and offered to be a co-host and help produce the show.
Every month, each survivor shared the mental health challenges they had and/or were facing.
By that point, I was generally comfortable talking about my own experience being sexually abused by a neighbor when I was seven years old. I was still reluctant, however, to share that I suffered from anxiety, occasional depression and other challenges typically experienced by survivors (e.g. Imposter Syndrome, in particular).
When Season 3 was over, I decided to launch this show on Mental Health. I figured if I could spend a year talking about being sexually abused, I could talk about my mental health struggles. I asked Dawn if she’d be a guest. She offered to co-host and help produce the show.
Survivors CAN be thrivers. They just need the help and support of people around them: other survivors, people they can trust. It’s not always easy and it’s not always a straight line, but with friends like Dawn and Candace (and now, Samantha), it gets easier every day.
You can read more in my “Journey of Discovery and Healing,” a blog post I wrote last January, just before the start of Season 3 of “Unspoken: Conversations with Candace,” dedicated to male survivors of sexual abuse.
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