Navigating Life’s Changes Takes Management, Not Magic
Since I was last on Shining Light on Shadows, I’ve graduated high school, moved to college, and I had to change the way I advocate so that the impacts I made at my high school would turn into an enduring movement for change. Moving to college has been the biggest change of my life.
I’ve been fortunate enough to live in the same home my entire life, surrounded by the love of my incredible parents. They’re my rock, my home, and my biggest supporters; I’ve never known life without them. Shifting to a brand new environment, new pressures, new stressors, and new everything was daunting without them.
Coming into college, I was really nervous that I wouldn’t be able to stay afloat. I was terrified of going back to the old version of myself: the version that didn’t feel like she deserved to be alive, the one that put so much pressure on herself that she began to splinter.
I am joining Shining Lights on Shadows for Ep. 57 "Managing the Transition from High School to College," Thursday, Sept. 24 at 7pm ET. It's my second time on the show.
Neil Parekh and Dawn Neuburg host the twice-monthly show, which focuses on reducing the stigma associated with mental health issues. You can watch the live show or recording on Facebook*, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram or Neil's website. (You can find more details about the show on his website.)
*Facebook will delete the video in 30 days (approx. October 9).
**We won't know the exact urls for Twitter and Instagram until we go live.
For now, these links go to my Twitter and Instagram.
Almost all of my therapy sessions leading up to college focused on preparing for this transition. I was trying to put the work in on the front end to avoid struggling in the future. While my first week of college brought out some of those worries, I was able to fall back on the plans I had made and recover.
I focused on attainable goals: finish this assignment, complete that task, meet a professor.
Everything I did for that first week was broken down into the smallest possible tasks so I could feel like I was accomplishing my goals, no matter how small. This road bump is one in a series throughout my mental health journey, a pattern that has been hard to identify while in the midst of coping.
This last year has given me time to analyze those cycles of my mental health and how to avoid spiraling down the same problems that I have in the past. One of the most frustrating mental health challenges I’ve faced is fighting the idea that I’m stuck.
There’s no magic skill to make it all vanish, only management. For so long, I wanted to snap my fingers and make these thoughts, these experiences disappear. I honestly think that’s part of where my suicidal ideation stemmed from — I was scared to live with the permanence of my OCD.
This year, though, I was able to identify a component of the cycle and shut it down at the beginning. Not a total cure, but a huge step in the right direction that has given me a boost in my confidence to handle struggles down the road.
Starting college isn’t the only change I’ll face in my life. It’s not even the only change I’ll face this semester, but now I’ve proved to myself that I can handle those big challenges and come out stronger and more capable than ever.
Just because my advocacy has changed doesn’t mean I’m done. It’s just one more change I need to make to continue to make an impact for the people that need it.
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