I cringe when my memories come up daily and I look back at the things I said 17 years ago. Things captured forever that were obviously attention seeking, even if I didn’t know it or think it back then.

If this is what social media can feel like for a fairly educated, 53-year-old, mostly well-adjusted adult who has spent years working professionally with these platforms, what is it like for a teenager growing up with them?

The reflection of myself in the mirror shows me a distorted reality. What I see is a two-ton Tessie, an overweight, ugly being. Someone who doesn’t deserve anything. This is body dysmorphia, and it is a real thing.

Body dysmorphia isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s just this persistent hum in the background—a cycle of self-criticism, shame, and comparison. A sick feeling when you look at yourself. A need to hide. A voice that takes every reflection and turns it into something cruel.

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition characterized by an excessive and distressing preoccupation with perceived flaws in one's physical appearance.