Thirty-Three Years After My Attack, the Trauma Is Still Real

Thursday, September 10, 2026 marks the 33rd anniversary of the day that changed my life forever. It was a day that started out like every other and ended with me in a near-death experience. Luckily I survived a brutal attack, kidnapping, rape and gun violence, and am here all these many years later to talk about the impact of trauma on one’s mental health.

When I met Marina Perry and she started talking about her experience, all these feelings came back to the surface. The sleep troubles and PTSD, the flashbacks and panic attacks. Trauma of any sort can have these lasting effects on us. It isn’t just a one and done. As we were talking, I could feel the heat rising in my body, I got shaky and really flush. I felt every word of what she was saying to my core.

I have met many people over the course of the last 33 years that have experienced violence, whether sexual violence, domestic violence, gun violence, child abuse or the death of a child, parent or sibling. All of them have one defining thing that they share; long-term mental health issues.

I certainly don’t pretend to understand everything about mental health. I don’t pretend to understand everything that someone has gone through or is going through. The only thing I know for certain is that those feelings that Marina brought up for me, when I heard her story, were deep and real.

Those feelings never seem to go away or get easier.

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We talked about the long-term mental health impacts of trauma on Ep. 56 of Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health, "Invisible Scars: PTSD, Grief and Life After a Dog Attack," Thursday, September 10. Marina Perry was our guest. Please make sure to read the blog post she wrote for this episode.

Neil Parekh is my co-host. You can watch the recording on Facebook*, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube or on Neil's website.

*Facebook will delete the video in 30 days.

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I have learned over the years how to cope with them. I have been to therapy and found different strategies that help. I take a little medication to keep the deeper feelings at bay, and in check, but at the core of it all I am still that 21-year old girl frozen in time. 

I often wonder who I would have been or what I would have done with my life if I had never been attacked, but I have learned that 20-20 hindsight is not productive. What I try to focus on is all the things that have happened because of that experience: The people I have met, the advocacy work I have done, the lives I have touched, the children I was able to have, the time spent with family and friends. These are all things that I would have missed had I not lived that day. 

I get survivor's guilt a lot. I think about the many people that did not survive their experiences and their loved ones who have to wonder what would have become of that person if they would have lived. I try not to dwell on that, but it is something I think about more than I would like. I also think about the people that have suffered for a lifetime because of their trauma and have never gotten help. 

We need to continue talking openly about mental health. For the last two and a half years, Neil Parekh and I have had many guests on the show, talking about a range of different issues. Talking with them has helped me reflect on how important this topic is for people. Every show brings me further on my healing journey, which after 33 years is ongoing. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health issues please reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness via phone, text, email or chat.