Being a Mom Can Sometimes Be Very Lonely and Isolating

Being a mother is one of the greatest things in the world, however, no one ever shares how lonely it can be. You constantly want what is best for your children. You don’t want to see them hurt or scared or frustrated or angry. You strive to do what is best for them all the time in every way possible.

The reality of the situation is that all kids are different. You can’t parent them exactly the same, they have different needs and wants and they respond differently to the way you discipline them, handle melt downs and crying and not wanting to get ready for bed. They don’t all eat the same meals and play with the same toys. They don’t all want to do the same activities or have the same kinds of friends.

When one of them has a mental or physical illness, that changes the playing field as well. Keeping your own mental wellness in check is also tricky when you navigate motherhood. There were many times that my mental health wasn’t good and that made my parenting not great either. Finding a way to balance all of it is challenging.

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We will be talking about the challenges of parenting children when one is experiencing physivcal or mental health challenges on Ep. 35 of “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health,” Thursday, August 28 at 6pm CT / 7pm ET.

Neil Parekh is my co-host. My good friend, Karissa Gretebeck, is our guest. You can watch the live show or recording on Facebook, Twitter*, LinkedIn, YouTube or Instagram*.

*We won't know the exact urls for Twitter or Instagram until we go live on Thursday. For now, these links go to Neil's Twitter and my Instagram.

If you click on the social media links above, and comment, we can put it on screen. You can also just watch the recording or live show right below.

And guess what, we make mistakes, lots of mistakes. There really is no handbook to being a mom. You do the best with what you know. The only role models I really had when I was growing up, loved me, but that was all I had to go by. I had to figure out the best way to parent my kids alone. Yes, there were other mothers that I knew, but it is weird how you don’t really sit around and talk about HOW to parent your kids. You talk about their accomplishments or their arguments, but not how you managed to get through the day without screaming at them or sending them to their room.

When you make mistakes you beat yourself up. A LOT. you constantly think they will remember all the bad and none of the good. You convince yourself that they will probably hate you by the time they are grown ups. But the positive side is they usually don’t. I remember how hard it was for my mom. She didn’t have the right tools or support. She made lots of mistakes, but when I look back on the kind of mother she was, she was amazing. I see her resilience, her strength, the way that she loved and cared for us. She made sure we were never deprived of the basics in life. I never felt like I was neglected by her; I always felt very loved.

Choosing to be a mom was amongst the smartest choices I have ever made. Watching my kids grow up to be these amazing human beings is something absolutely astounding to me. Knowing that I had a small part in making them who they are today brings me joy. But I worry, still I worry every day that they are happy, safe, healthy and well taken care of.

Being a mom can be a very lonely and isolating feeling, but taking care of yourself and making sure you pay attention to your own mental health is important. My best advice is to realize that eventually they grow up and have kids of their own and begin to understand that everything you did for them you did out of love.